Worst Week EVER

It was really really really really really really really bad.

BAD.

Mostly just work wise but then I've had a bit of insomnia on top of it so that just makes it all that much worse. It began - as most weeks do - on Monday when I was given a project, a somewhat straightforward query/report request which I began right away. Halfway done, I leave for the evening, thinking "I'll finish it up in the morn". Wouldn't you know it, I get in on Tuesday - our network is down for most of the day so my files are inaccessible. Not wanting to waste time, I just start over, thinking OH WELL, lets be proactive and just forge on ahead, undaunted. I'm thinking I'm done with the request Wed morning but then I'm barraged with alterations, "can you bring in this, can you design it this way, can you remove these fields" etc. I was here until 8:30 on Wednesday fixing it all up. Then, weary me heads home, something is wrong with the Queens trains at 51st Street and I end up not getting home until close to 10pm.

All I can think is: Life SUCKS.

Then, we find out something is funky with our database, some of the data is wrong, I'm going to have to basically start over from scratch but I'm exhausted and almost in tears I'm so stressed out and I run to cry to my boss and tell him I just can't do this, I can't work on this anymore, I'm going to drop dead, I can't stay late again, I don't know what I'm doing wrong, etc. So he steps in, takes my files home to work on them and so saves the day. Sort of - it was good he helped me because he got to see how very near impossible this query was, how complicated - we decided the name of the query should be TheBigBitch.xls because the file was so massive at this point - we were up to column EQ! - and that I wasn't such a loser for having broken down into a puddle last night. I felt bad that I didn't "execute" the way I normally do and so I bought him a giant chocochip cookie as a thanks. Plus I felt really bad that he stayed up until 2am working on it. Then I did the second half of the file this morning - took me a good 2 hours and then finally I'm done, it's out and I'm still reeling, really, my head hurts, my blood pressure still feels sky high. I seriously thought I was going to have a brain aneurysm, I could feel my temples pounding because of the stress.

I need a glass of wine. And I need to sleep. And I need to have a nice, peaceful, beeyooteefull weekend. For next week shall come soon enough and who knows what lurks and looms ahead. The Boss is out for the whole week and so it will either be quiet or oh so noisy because everyone that would normally go to him is coming to me.

I vote for quiet!

So it's now 5:41 and do you know that I am just now waking up? I mean, I'm at work and have been out of bed since 8:30 or so, but I've been in a weird/altered state all day - very groggy, as if I never quite got out of the dreams I had been having prior to waking up. This has actually been going on for about a week but today, it was particularly worse. I've been having super duper heavy sleep with strange/ugly/bizarre dreams/nightmares - they aren't really nightmares, but they are beyond vivid with somewhat disturbing images - last night had me at work but the space was more like a large loft and there were these awful maimed and bloody homeless creature-like people coming in asking for help - they all looked like even grosser versions of Sloth from The Goonies:

Nothing particularly scary happened there, but they were just...icky.

When I woke up, I just felt very heavy and slow moving and I kept doing things wrong or making mistakes - like getting on the wrong train to get to work - I ran to just make it and as we're moving along, I realize I'm on an F not an E.

Shit.

But no biggie, I just get out at 63rd and Lex and walk the 4 blocks to the 6 and get to work no later than usual really and then I had a sort of complex query to work on and I have my own handwritten instructions in front of me on how to do it (because I only have to do this once a month and I just knew I'd forget) and I'm looking at it like its been written in hieroglyphics. Took me a good hour to figure out "okay, how did I do this ever before, this makes no sense". I tried walking around a bit at lunch, thinking the nice sunny day and the fresh air would quicken my step - but no. And I'm all sore, my legs and arms, as if played tennis or something yesterday that I haven't done in a long time - why? What did I do during the night, exercise in my sleep? Is that why I'm all groggy and out of it?

It's a mystery... so just now, as I started this post, I woke up, like BING!!! SNAP!!! CRACKLE!!! I'm awake, I'm alive!

Now that I finally have the energy and the mind power, there's so little to do and so much time left in the day...

STRIKE THAT - reverse it....

Recipe of the Week: Banana Bread

I added walnuts and cinnamon because that's just the way I like it - and another one of Mollie's banana bread recipes tells you to soak the bananas in industrial strength espresso first - I think I'll do that next time, but this was pretty stellar the way it is - super moist and tasty and not too sweet. I'm already getting rave reviews from co-workers - at first I wanted to be selfish & keep it at home but since it came out of the oven last night, I've been picking at it WAY too much and fear it will be gone and I'll suddenly be 10 lb's heavier, so I brought it to my office where I seem to have some self-discipline!

http://www.molliekatzen.com/recipes/recipe.php?recipe=banana_bread

Cupcakes or Footballs and Baseballs Too

It was a co-worker's birthday today, so I made her some cupcakes that were supposed to be in the shape of Easter eggs...HOWEVER - there must be a trick to using this baking pan, they came out sort of lumpy and then once frosted with chocolate they looked more like footballs or bunny poop.

I got myself sick licking the batter, but as there is no Snow White/Heather here to compete with, the beaters and bowl are all mine...MWAH HA HA!!! I might have overdosed on the frosting too, and maybe, just maybe, taking a hit from the sprinkles. I'll put it this way, when I brushed my teeth before going to bed last night, my tongue was dyed red and no matter how much I brushed and spit, that pesky red wouldn't come out. Out, damned spot!

And its that time of year again, yes, it is officially Baseball Season 2009...I'm not feeling too great about my Mets, but I'll keep a low profile until June or so - then we'll see if I'm hurrahing or hiding. They sure played crappily on Saturday when I got to check out the new stadium for the exhibition game against the Red Sox, my second favorite team. The new stadium is AWESOME - very elegant I thought and laid out well, with lots of space and it's all open so no matter where you are, you can see the field and the game perfectly. But - there's always a but - it was freezing cold and so windy and stormy that we left in the 7th inning. We sat there as long as we could, shivering, but did you know that beer at 2 in the afternoon helps kill the pain of being uncomfortable? Well it does - for awhile anyway. I headed home and was literally so chilled to the bone, that I had to take a hot hot shower and ended up taking a nap because I had to get under the covers to warm up.

Today's another winner of a day -blustery, rainy, stormy - might have even been hailing a moment ago. In short, it's oh so very April. But if April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?

PILGRIMS!!!

hee hee hee... you know you giggled, despite the corniness

And hey, check out Satan's Facebook page - it's a RIOT! http://www.pcworld.com/zoom?id=162166&page=1&zoomIdx=5

P.S - In talking to my parents on the phone last night, I got my mother to start saying "fuck off, I'm fabulous" which only proves to me that the fabulosity is genetic because she decided that she loves that phrase as much as I do. And the fact that she said it while sipping a margarita only takes her to another level of coolness, n'est-ce pas? Now, my father may not appreciate her saying that to him, but oh well, c'est la vie - that's the way the fabulous cookies crumble! Anyway, he's fab in his own Chuckie way :-)

Recipe of the Week: Nicole's Leek Tomato Soup

The plan last night was to make leek soup - just leeks, nothing else. It's actually the trick from that book "French Women Don't Get Fat" - making leek broth is her method to lose some water weight which is not necessarily what I was after, but if lose a little puffiness, all the more power to those leeks o'mine - I just happen to love leeks and am trying to find the best way to eat them all the time. And I bought myself a food mill, so I'm still trying to get the hang of that as well.

I simmered the slivered leeks for 45 minutes or so and then saw that I had a bunch of grape tomatoes that were on the verge of going bad so why not use them up? Waste not want not. I sliced them in half and simmered them for another 20 minutes, adding a hearty shake of herbes de provence, a teaspoon of butter, a teaspoon of chicken bouillon and some pepper and when everything was squishy enough, I passed it through the food mill which was a little messy but I'm getting there. The broth itself was awesomely tasty - if had time to let it really simmer for a few hours, it would have been out of this world but it was already 9:30 and I was starving. And I think it would be rocking as a base for a seafood soup - it sort of reminded me of bouillabaisse.

So there you go, my own creation, based on no recipe with only on my own taste buds to guide me, but isn't that the best way?

I heart homemade soup!

Fuck Off, I'm Fabulous

Great phrase, yes? I LOVE it. It's not my invention, sadly - it's from the Joanne Harris book I'm reading, "The Girl With No Shadow" and the malevolent and witchy Zozie (fab name too) teaches Anouk to say it to herself and aloud when the girls at school are being mean to her - but I find it's useful and empowering for all of us to affirm, schoolyard or not. Try it - go on. Tell me it didn't make you smile and stand up a little straighter?

Busy busy here on the last day of March, oh thankfully, the ides of March have been blowing some ill winds my way for sure - I don't know how it happened but despite the best of intentions, I spent most of this month in a mood combination that included adjectives such as: morose, blue, angry as hell, irritable, ugly mean spirited gleeful flying high yippee happy then circling back to fuck off I'm fabulous.

I don't intend April to continue in this way. Blue and morose are only good for listening to Billie Holiday while it's raining outside. But as I heard on the radio early this morning when I could not sleep - I woke up at 3:29 and didn't fall asleep until 6 something, only to have to get up at 7:30 to get to work for a 4 hour meeting at 9am -ICK - so I listened to WBAI for awhile and I heard the broadcaster say it's truly an ill wind that blows no one any good so let's move right on into April, the cruellest month of all - but let me try and prove Mr. Eliot wrong, April can and should be downright lovely - I noticed in Brooklyn this weekend - despite the coldish and stormy weather - that there are cherry and magnolia trees budding so that means some springtime beauty is just around the corner and so I'l finish this month and move on and try to turn the ill wind good, lest it turn my brown eyes blue - ah, does anyone remember that song from the 70's? Alas I have blueish/greenish eyes to begin with so it doesn't really apply to me).

Speaking of Brooklyn, I'll just share the three things at the Brooklyn Museum that impressed me most, that have stayed with me - the exhibit was "Burning Down the House: Building A Feminist Art Collection and I loved the two Kara Walker pieces - "Burning African Village Play Set with Big House and Lynching" and "Keys to the Coop" - I'd buy this in a print if they sold it:



and Kiki Smith's "Born"with Little Red Riding Hood and her Grandmother being born from the wolf - again, why don't they sell these as prints, how many Barnard Chicks like myself would totally put either one of these up on their dorm walls? No one is doing the financial thinking over there:

St. Patrick's Day WEIRDNESSES

So, I went to a St. Patrick's Day Parade in Brooklyn yesterday and saw some very weird things - and this was PRE-Guinness and PRE-Irish Coffees...

1. I was waiting for my friends on the corner and a cop in a kilt (one of the parade participants) came up and gave me a huge hug and then said "HIGH FIVE"! Before I could protest, he was gone. I'm going to suppose he had already been a part of some pub crawl and therefore, slightly tipsy...still I saw him playing those bagpipes in the NYPD part of the parade, so there you go. Didn't affect his musical abilities any.

2. Mayor Bloomberg came up to me and shook my hand and thanked me for coming - you are welcome - it was my pleasure!

3. There was a real leprechaun marching...I swear, I'm not lying...honest to God...okay, he may have just been a really short man..nah, it was a leprechaun.

There you have it, Brooklyn is full of magical things, if you keep your eyes open and look in the right places..wink wink...

You know Spring is approaching for real when...

You (meaning me) purchase and eat your first Cadbury cream egg of the season...I haven't had one of these yummy treats in a few years, I do believe, but I have been the victim of some MAYJUH mood swings these past few days and I felt the magic of the cocoa bean was in order...seriously I've been awful. I can't stand to be around me. Lucky for me, I was able to stick to myself in my office for most of the day and not take it out on anyone. The most attitude I displayed was when I bought my sandwich for lunch and the blonde bimbo in front of me was on her cell phone, had already paid for her massive iced coffee and yet was just standing there, idly putting her money away and chitchatting on the phone as a line was forming behind her and the cashier shouting NEXT! while glaring at her. She still didn't move. So I elbowed her and meanly snarled "are you going to move or what"?

She was asking for it, I don't feel bad...

But the egg made me feel better - although I have to gripe, they are much smaller than they used to be and I'm not sure that's a bad thing since they are SO rich - this was about as much as my poor teeth could handle.

Now I want another one.

DAMN YOU EASTER BUNNY...

Mystery Solved!!!!

I feel better...at long last! A weight lifted...oh I'm so dramatic and phony... so for the past 4 years, since I've been taking the E and V trains to work, I've seen these ladies on the train in the morning that looked like Amish ladies and I could never figure out where they were coming from and where were they going? Why are there Amish people in Queens, riding the E train? I thought they shunned all modern technology, such as steel horses and such? Am I imagining them, are they some sort of glitch in the Matrix and from another century, another dimension and somehow, being that far underground, the time-space continuum as we know it has been breached and I'm able to see them? WTF?!!!!!

As I said, I'm being dramatic. As I get off the E at 42nd Street on Sunday to transfer to the uptown 2, I see the group of them standing there, including the one woman I always see with the rosy cheeks that I think looks like how I imagine Caroline Ingalls to look, and they are handing out pamphlets...I slyly take one and keep walking with a smile because ... it's about to be revealed ... they are Mennonites and they have a church in Sugar Hill and do work at Columbia Presbyterian way uptown and they apparently have a small community in Queens:
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B07E6DC163AF933A25753C1A9649C8B63

Apparently, I was mistaken - the subway is NOT the same thing as a time machine or like Dr. Brown's Delorean and so all is as it should be. It did remind me of Amelie when she figures out that the man in Nino's scrapbook is just the photo machine repairman though - I totally had an "A HA!" moment!!

So now I can move on to wondering about other weird things that I spy during my daily travels...whew!