I'm not being cryptic, really, it was just a work thing, my anger has passed, I won the battle and hopefully - in the long run - the war and really - it's so NOT important. This isn't my life, this is what I do to have money to live my life so if people - such as Little Miss Snot Nose - want to be petty, she can go on and do so. I'm smarter and better than her and she can just leave me out of it because no one steps on my toes without getting them stomped on right back. So. There.
I also need to thank Floating Head for keeping me sane. Saturday I woke up in the midst of the worst of the mood to find I had no hot water and no heat and I just wanted to run and hide somewhere and she let me go to her apartment to do so where we learned how to be fabulous from Kimora - our new best friend and idol - and had soup and tea and mini quiches. Sunday I forced myself out of bed, despite a crappy night's sleep, and out into the cold to yoga at 10 am and then met FH again for noodle soup at Republic, some ring purchasing in Union Square Holiday Market - I splurged on two beautiful rings, one a moonstone - to replace the one I lost - and one of labradorite - and then we went to temple - Buddhist, not Beth Shalom - for a prayer, some incense, and a fortune ... oh please please please Temple Fortune, come only true ... then we had coffee and chatted in Soho but not before seriously considering buying diamond Hello Kitty jewelry at the Baby Phat store (well I came close anyway, its way too expensive for me but still, I luvvvv Hello Kitty...maybe some day I can splurge on something so frivolously adorable).
Also, new song obsession. Well I've had it for awhile, but was unable to find it anywhere since the band Lush is no longer together and their old label 4AD just released their stuff for digital download, but it's "I Have the Moon" which is such a beautiful song, I can't stop listening to it - its originally a Magnetic Fields song - that version is awesome too, just sung in a deeper voice but the Lush one is so pretty and slightly melancholic. As it should be. You can listen to it here
And of course, here are the lyrics:
We have walked in ancient times
And we've been burned for many crimes
We have ended many lives
But we never really died
You have the sun, I have the moon
You have to fly around the world all day
To keep the sun upon your face
I'd like to come and comfort you
But I'd be blinded by the blue
You have the sun, I have the moon
You're going to die under the sun
And I'll be doomed to carry on
You have become like other men
But let me kiss you once again
You have the sun, I have the moon
So tonight, I'm watching the Grinch and then Ghost Hunters and putting up my tree I think and keep on trying to eradicate the Bad Mood. Its like an illness, you gotta fight it with supergreen drinks and lots of good sleep and pomegranates and no alcohol or junk food.
Why? Because it helped me feel better to watch it last night...you see, I'm in recovery, I have endured a terrible past 8 days...I've been in the worst mood - my only good day was Turkey Day - and there's not been a drop of Holiday Cheer to be found anywhere in my vicinity. I felt like punching old ladies and stealing candy from children and then delighting when they cried. That's evil. But I don't believe in holding back your emotions either - if you suppress it, it just grows and gets worse, so might as well let it go and let it flow away and be gone. Or you can recite the prayer Rosemary says in Rosemary's Baby: "pain be gone, I'll have no more of thee" and smile strangely as if possessed and eat some raw bloody meat and get a really bad haircut and before you know it, the baby kicks and you start to look and feel better and then you watch A Charlie Brown Christmas and smile and want to put up your own Christmas decorations just by waving your hands and arms frenetically and you can decide to start acting like a normal person again and forgive and forget and be happy right now and then - BINGO! You are in recovery. 
0 comments:
Post a Comment