Today's Cledon

(What's a cledon? Originating from ancient Greek culture when people consulted the oracle of Apollo to ask a question, the concept of a cledon is where other unsuspecting people are used by God - or as they say in Clash of the Titans "by the gods - to convey a message to the inquiring person. In the past, this was through getting a message through overhearing a conversation between others, or when someone else who doesn't know about one's question answers it. In this day, it's also likely through seeing a headline or a billboard, or through hearing a certain song on the radio, or even watching something on TV)

As I stood on the corner of 30th and Park, waiting to cross, I heard it, quite loudly, quite clear:

"Stop being such a pussy"

Indeed.

"Good soup draws the chair to it"

(2 posts in one day, what have you fine people been doing to deserve such a treat?)

And so we begin with a fine Ghanian proverb that fits well with the day - it's so rainy and raw and chilly to the bone. Some soup or hot cocoa and a nap would be mighty fine right now.

But, alas, I did not have any such good soup for lunch, it was instead a turkey sandwich. Yes. Excitement reigns. Blah.

Blah.

BLAH.

Now, I've been feeling the way the day looks so I decided to do something about that. On Wednesday, I called Good Ole Lil' Texan Buddy and asked if she was doing anything next week - was she perhaps on Spring Break? Then I asked Good Ole Boss if I could please take a few days off, hmm, let's see, how about a whole week? To which he replied "I was wondering how you've gone since the beginning of January with out one single day off."

And so an aeroplane ticket was purchased and so it is with great glee and bliss that I announce I shall be Texas-bound next Wednesday at 8:30 am and shall be returning not sooner that the following Tuesday - YIPPEEE!!! I get to see Veronica, drive to San Antonio and spend 3 days there, see Cindy, and laugh SO FREAKING MUCH.

My stomach muscles hurt already.

I need that. I feel like a great weight has been lifted, a hint of blue sky seeping through the cracks of the rainy day, for I'm guaranteed to feel complete and utter happiness at just the mere thought of my Tex-Mex adventure.

It's what happens when you fuse German (and Russian/Swedish) engineering with Mexican knowhow.

Celebrity Rehab, David Sedaris, & Me

So I love watching Celebrity Rehab and Sober House on VH1 - I just do, I'm not going to defend it. I find it interesting, so there. And it doesn't help that I have a slight crush on Dr. Drew (who doesn't?) and when he looks so understanding at the patient describing something painful - I've also developed a David Sedaris crush, but I'll get to that later. I love Amy so doesn't it make sense that I think that I could somehow turn him straight and then marry him and then be able to take part in the superwackyfunness of their family? I already have the superwacky part down and I think Amy would make such a fantastic sister-in-law... we could do crafts and baking together... if only...

Anyway, I wanted to comment that I found it interesting that out of all the latest participants of Celebrity Rehab, I found myself rooting for Heidi Fleiss to be the one that comes out of this totally sober, cleaned up and turned around. When they hinted that someone in the house tested positive for meth and then cut to the break, inside I got nervous and said "please don't make it be Heidi". Why her? I want them all to do well but for some reason, my heart goes out to her. I guess I feel sorry for her; she looks like a dog that's been kicked far too many times, like one of those patchy skinny puppies on the ASPCA ad with Sarah McLachlan, like some one who's dug herself a deep hole and she can't get out of it by herself.

I was just surprised that out of all of them, she was the one I seemed to have picked out to support mentally from afar. I have a feeling she might not make it, I read somewhere that she's marrying the guy who owns the Bunny Ranch and lives near Death Valley- that's only a few hours from my parents, maybe one of them could drive out and check on her.

Not Daddy though.

Now the David Sedaris thing. I've been suffering from a REALLY bad mood lately. Which is one reason I haven't been good about posting here. I feel like all I do is complain and describe what fresh shitty mood has descended or why things aren't to my liking. It seems to be the trend of this year, so I'm trying to halt it and fend it off and do something about it, but feel it's boring to those not taking part in BitchFestIHateTheWorld&EveryoneInIt 2010 (it's a party of 1) so I'm declining to discuss it.

Last week, I discovered was how much a Daily Dose of David can assist that cause and so I'm sharing it because maybe Mr. Sedaris can help you too. When Veronica visited in November, she left "When You Are Engulfed In Flames" for me to read and I hadn't touched it until last week when I decided to pick it up because I thought laughing a little would distract me from the Foul Mood Brain Drain. And it did. I devoured it in 2 nights and was laughing aloud by myself which always makes me feel like my neighbor must think I'm a bit bonkers if he can hear me. So I've proceeded to read one story/essay/chapter a day (sometimes more) as a way of self-medicating. I had only read "Dress Your Family in Corduroy & Denim" so I've got enough to last me a few weeks. After that - well lets just focus on the now. It's helping.

Kombucha = Buzzy Hearted

When I ventured out for my lunchmeal (avocado sundried tomato sandwich & banana) I decided to try a GT's Kombucha for the first time - I keep hearing/reading about this fermented mushroombacteriayeast drink.

Firstly - yummy. Tastes slightly vinegary, slightly champagney, slightly gingeraley, topped off with a seaside-kelpy smell. I like it but I am an odd one so don't blame me if you open a bottle and instantly say "ew".

Secondly - I feel slightly buzzy in the head and in my insides - not like drunk but just - buzzy. It's a good feeling actually - except that I'm at work and I feel sort of - hmmm - buzzy. No other way to put that, is there? My brain feels tingly - how about that?

Therefore - I most ecstatically proclaim my kombucha experience a success and if only it were a bit cheaper, I could see it becoming a daily thing. Maybe I'll just save it as a treat for those trying times when you heart feels shrivelled and a little buzz buzz will do it some good.

Well.

What started out as a snowstorm of little promise has turned into something so beautiful. Much more so than I anticipated last night on my way home; it was just slushy and wet, and so I predicted just a gray mess today, but this morning I was greeted by a definite Winter Wonderland. Downright Narniaesque. Where is the the White Witch Ice Queen, where are the fauns? Aslan? Hiding for sure, bundled up under furs and and tucked into hollows for warmth.

I really would have liked to see a faun though. Perhaps one will slip out of hiding at some point.

I made it in to work - late - but still I came in so now it's all cozy and the snow is still falling softly and I have my blinds pulled all the way back so I can see it all and there is that lovely kind of thing happening where it looks like the outside is a snowglobe and someone has shook it and you can see each the flake fall in every direction but sort of hung in suspension and then swirls one way and then some go sideways and some just go straight down to the ground and others seem to defy gravity and the laws of the world and seem to be falling up.

Is it possible to fall up?

I think it may just be.

And, according to Professor Serge Gavronsky, it's possible for an elevator to go sideways so why not fall up...

Isn't that so Veronica?

Learn to See Through Flames

Yes, the earworms have returned, this time in the form of a Massive Attack song; this has been on repeat on the iPod since last week, love love love it:

Pray For Rain
In deepest hollow of our minds
A system failure left behind
And their necks crane
As they turn to pray for rain
And their necks crane

Dull residue of what once was
A shattered cloud of swirling doves
And their eyes change
As they learn to see through flames
And their necks crane
As they turn to pray for rain...

Drops on rocks fall fast and fleeting
Hearts and wings commence to beating
Woods unseen with all believing
Vision walls fall all receding
Vision walls fall all receding
Drops on rocks come fast and fleeting
Rhythm laws unleash their meaning
Usher us into the dreaming
Vision walls fall all receding
Hearts and wings commence to beating
All unending all completing
Vision walls fall fast and fleeting
Vision walls fall all revealing
Vision walls fall all revealing
Vision walls fall all revealing
Vision walls fall all revealing...

LOVE-LY

Snowicane!

They make it sound so serious ...

"A Winter Storm Warning is in effect. A significant winter storm or hazardous winter weather is occurring, imminent, or likely, and is a threat to life and property. Stay vigilant for severe weather. "

Stay vigilant indeed. I have. I shall.

So far, it's all a mushy wet mix of rain and snow, nice big fat flakes falling as I was coming to work, but as I look out my window now, the flakes are now raindrops and I'm left to wonder when this last (I'm guessing, not hoping), luscious, lovely storm will arrive. It's coming, it's on it's way (so they keep telling me).

Sigh.

I know I've been MIA - I've been feeling like I haven't had much to share or say or just wasn't in the mood to so I didn't or just too busy/preoccupied with Stuff and very busy watching the Olympics - did you know I'm a big nerd about the Olympics, I love Olympic years! But please know I have not abandoned the Good Ship Bloggie yet; I shall persevere, continue on, hack my way through and somehow come out the other end having endured and emerged the better for it.

Do I sound dramatic? Hmmm. Perhaps. Maybe I'm just trying to keep up with the weather.com writers. I do enjoy a good storm though. I like the excitement of the ride...cloudy days full of rain, snow, hail, who knows what are always preferred to banal blue skies.

Stay vigilant. Storms are imminent.

Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door

~ Emily Dickinson

Funny, when I was home at Christmas, I parted my hair in the middle and pulled it back down low, over my ears and into a bun and I asked my mother didn't I look like Emily Dickinson.

She said no, you look like Octomom - HA!!!!

Sad thing is, I did...minus those big wormy lips.

So that's my hopeful quote of the day, hopeful for a blissful weekend of course - it's supposed to be a big snowstorm here and I intend to enjoy the winter wonderland as it might be the last snow of the season - you never know. Just a walk in the park or around and about the Upper West Side should do it tomorrow, before I head to the ballet - Sleeping Beauty at Lincoln Center. Just me myself and I - yep, I'm taking myself out. Next week is Swan Lake - I got cheap cheap tix for both and I don't know anyone else who likes the ballet so I'm stuck with myself. That's fine, I'm good company.

Time to bundle now and head out - bring on the flakes!

Rumi Medicine

Come, come, whoever you are-
Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving-
What does it matter?
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow
A hundred times-
Come, come again, come.

The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

In the Belly

That's the traditional translation of today's holiday (um, not Groundhog's Day but more the Celtic Brigid's Day (pre-Christian sainthood of course, I'm not going to include the "St." - they just made her a saint so that it would be appropriate for the conquered Celts to keep praying to her) - she gives birth to Spring and so it was a day to say HEY THERE hold on, have some hope, even though food supplies are scarce and it's still so dark and cold, and yes, better, warmer times will come around again on the wheel. So what's in the belly...

Six more weeks of winter says the groundhog and so you have to wait and be much more patient for things to blossom and bloom, don't you? Yes, I'm speaking metaphorically as well as literally.

Such as? Well, it was my third week in a row of yoga. I'm very proud of myself for sticking to it and let us bless it to continue. I've fought with myself beforehand "oh I'd rather stay home, oh but you'll feel so good afterwards and you'll be HAPPY, oh but I'm sleepy and I have all these things to do, oh but you'll never do them anyhow, you'll just lay and read and wander, won't you, so GO!"

And I went. And I felt so much better for it. Whatever it does to the body is great, I know I looked and felt physically better when I was going to a class on a regular basis, but the mental and emotional peace is what I missed all this time. It completely short circuits any depression, foul-mood, blues, mean reds, etc. Most excellent. She sighs with contentment ... if only the other things of life were that simple... my other thing that it's in the belly is how to learn to carry this forward to the rest of the time I'm not in a yoga class - I'm a rather anxious person but I'm working on it - I'm trying to just go with the flow of the river I'm in, not fight to swim upstream. Smile more. Be positive instead of expecting the worst. Wish on stars and fallen eyelashes and still believe that they'll come true. That sort of thing.

I'll leave you with my poem-medicine dose for the week:

I made a fire, the blue sky having abandoned me,
A fire to be his friend,
A fire to enter the winter night,
A fire to live better.
~Paul Eluard