I'm off to see the Wizard!! The Wonderful Wizard of Las Vegas and his wife - my mother, the Wicked Witch of the West!! I can't wait to get the hell out of here - everything is CRAP right now and I want out! I'm done, finished, with 2007 - bring it on 2008, you better treat me better!!!

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and all that jazz...I may post a bit from home, but if not - LATER FOR YOU SUCKERS!!!

Snowstorm?? A foot of snow expected? HA!

Well I was SORELY disappointed by today's prediction for a major snowfall, I have to say... oh I'm in full whining mode by the way, I'm just out of juice (ha - maybe I should ask Clemens or Pettite for some...) - not that kind of juice, I'm out of mojo for 2007, I'm trying sooo incredibly hard to hang on to my Christmas Happiness and just float on until I get out of here and onto a plane next Thursday but I'm having a really hard time of it. I just can't be HERE anymore. Someone might get hurt -yes, old annoying Asian ladies with 5 million shopping bags who push me on the E train, I am talking about you. You too kissykissy couples. You're gonna GET IT. Right in the jaw.

Sigh...see what I mean? I'm very Grinchy... I seem to fluctuate up and down a lot so beware those around me - you won't know which one you are going to get so don't say I didn't warn you! It's like a wrapped up gift - which Nicole is inside? SURPRISE!! Aw, it's the Big Bitch! Isn't she cute??!!!

Anyhoo, I'm better now... but the snow disappointed me, it was pretty and fluffy for about 20 minutes and then hail and sleet and now just slush and chilly greyness ... well lets see what tomorrow brings, it could be something FABULOUS. Could be more crap too, but humor me and hope for the best...in the meantime, lets sing along to the pretty song from those Old Navy ads - "Stars" by The Weepies - a nice lullaby for sweet dreams before bedtime...

Tangerines are hanging heavy, glowing marigolden hues
Teasing a half-pale moon
And I feel a pull to the blue-velvet dark and stars.
Pink Magnolia, blushing and coy
Savors the sun while she shines
You've got yours and I've got mine
Together we glide through the blue-velvet dark and stars

All it takes is a little faith, and a lot of heart

Back and forth we ply these oars
They move in time and get entwined
Green with joy then gray with sorrow
Ripened fruit that falls tomorrow
Filling us with brilliance
Branches are bare with a pulse underneath
Flowering slowly inside
Your hands are warm and my body is wide
To hold all the promise of blue-velvet dark and stars

All it takes is a little faith and a lot of heart
Sweetheart

Fancy Pants at La Boite en Bois

Last night was Fancy Pants Night ... so we got all prettified and dressed up - I bought a super cute black velvet dress and some just as cute black flats that looked like real ballet shoes and felt very girly - and off we went to see The Nutcracker at the NYC Ballet - beautiful, beautiful, the snowflake fairies in the forest with the snow falling was my favorite part - we also enjoyed a glass of champagne during intermission and then headed over in the freezing cold cold night to La Boite en Bois - a fantasticly delicious but tiny French restaurant where we enjoyed a great bottle of chardonnay, duck liver pate (my first taste of aspic, which I loved, it was like intensely chickeny flavored hard jello), poulet, salmon, and mignonette with cognac sauce - plus our waiter - who seemed to be the manager or maitre d' - took a liking to us and when we ordered a creme brulee to share, brought us some apple tart with homemade vanilla ice cream because that was his favorite and he hoped it would make us come back - and we will!! And that was Fancy Pants Night, until the next Fancy event should strike our fancy!

Snow, ice, and a lonely ladybug

'Twas a nice weekend by most standards, I would say. Friday I did a little Target shopping and put up my little tree ... Saturday I went to yoga in the cold cold morning then Floating Head and I did our typical macrobiotic healthy lunch and then I went up to Central Park to meet the Chia Pet for shopping in the holiday market. Only I got there much much earlier than she did so I bought a perfect steaming hot cup of apple cider and sat on the fountain of Victory in Columbus Circle - which I just realized is slightly symbolic since Victory is Nike in Greek mythology and that's where my name comes from ... okay, so anyway - to wait for her and sipped away and felt fine. Until the cider was finished and the warmth went away... too cold for words! But hello, its December this is how it's supposed to be :-) So as I was shivering, I just happened to look down and there was a ladybug next to me, standing perfectly still. Odd, yes? Yes! You never see ladybugs in the winter since they hibernate - overwintering they call it - so I just thought it was so bizarre and I felt really bad for it - I know it was just a ladybug but it was so cold! So I put my coat bottom sort of over it and it seemed to help since I would peek at it and it started to move its wings and move around under there - I was hoping it would gather enough strength to fly away to where it needed to be - I know its strange and sort of dumb to get all caught up in a ladybug but leave it to me to get that way. I found out yesterday that to see a ladybug anytime - but particularly in winter - is a sign of good great big luck coming your way, a fantastic omen - so yay yay yay! for me - I love reading too deeply into things, it's what I do best. So bring it on, my good luck bug, I'm ready for you.

Sunday I woke up to snow and even more chilly December air and lovely lovely, you know the snow and winteriness just makes me smile. And all was perfect because it was the annual Park Avenue Tree Lighting ceremony where we all stand outside and sing Christmas carols while they light up the trees in the middle of the street and lets face it, this holiday stuff works best when it actually feels like Christmas outside so the snow and the wind and the chill and the rosy cheeks and being cutely bundled up and feeling fat as the Michelin man was much appreciated. Then we warmed up with Irish coffees and shepherd's pie and by the time I left it was raining and all the snow had melted and was icy or gone completely. Oh well. It's still cold out - really REALLY cold actually and that's enough to keep the holiday good mood sticking to me.

I love you Charlie Brown!

Why? Because it helped me feel better to watch it last night...you see, I'm in recovery, I have endured a terrible past 8 days...I've been in the worst mood - my only good day was Turkey Day - and there's not been a drop of Holiday Cheer to be found anywhere in my vicinity. I felt like punching old ladies and stealing candy from children and then delighting when they cried. That's evil. But I don't believe in holding back your emotions either - if you suppress it, it just grows and gets worse, so might as well let it go and let it flow away and be gone. Or you can recite the prayer Rosemary says in Rosemary's Baby: "pain be gone, I'll have no more of thee" and smile strangely as if possessed and eat some raw bloody meat and get a really bad haircut and before you know it, the baby kicks and you start to look and feel better and then you watch A Charlie Brown Christmas and smile and want to put up your own Christmas decorations just by waving your hands and arms frenetically and you can decide to start acting like a normal person again and forgive and forget and be happy right now and then - BINGO! You are in recovery.

I'm not being cryptic, really, it was just a work thing, my anger has passed, I won the battle and hopefully - in the long run - the war and really - it's so NOT important. This isn't my life, this is what I do to have money to live my life so if people - such as Little Miss Snot Nose - want to be petty, she can go on and do so. I'm smarter and better than her and she can just leave me out of it because no one steps on my toes without getting them stomped on right back. So. There.

I also need to thank Floating Head for keeping me sane. Saturday I woke up in the midst of the worst of the mood to find I had no hot water and no heat and I just wanted to run and hide somewhere and she let me go to her apartment to do so where we learned how to be fabulous from Kimora - our new best friend and idol - and had soup and tea and mini quiches. Sunday I forced myself out of bed, despite a crappy night's sleep, and out into the cold to yoga at 10 am and then met FH again for noodle soup at Republic, some ring purchasing in Union Square Holiday Market - I splurged on two beautiful rings, one a moonstone - to replace the one I lost - and one of labradorite - and then we went to temple - Buddhist, not Beth Shalom - for a prayer, some incense, and a fortune ... oh please please please Temple Fortune, come only true ... then we had coffee and chatted in Soho but not before seriously considering buying diamond Hello Kitty jewelry at the Baby Phat store (well I came close anyway, its way too expensive for me but still, I luvvvv Hello Kitty...maybe some day I can splurge on something so frivolously adorable).

Also, new song obsession. Well I've had it for awhile, but was unable to find it anywhere since the band Lush is no longer together and their old label 4AD just released their stuff for digital download, but it's "I Have the Moon" which is such a beautiful song, I can't stop listening to it - its originally a Magnetic Fields song - that version is awesome too, just sung in a deeper voice but the Lush one is so pretty and slightly melancholic. As it should be. You can listen to it here

http://vonpipmusicalexpress.wordpress.com/2007/07/31/old-favorites-lush/

And of course, here are the lyrics:

We have walked in ancient times

And we've been burned for many crimes

We have ended many lives

But we never really died

You have the sun, I have the moon

You have to fly around the world all day

To keep the sun upon your face

I'd like to come and comfort you

But I'd be blinded by the blue

You have the sun, I have the moon

You're going to die under the sun

And I'll be doomed to carry on

You have become like other men

But let me kiss you once again

You have the sun, I have the moon

So tonight, I'm watching the Grinch and then Ghost Hunters and putting up my tree I think and keep on trying to eradicate the Bad Mood. Its like an illness, you gotta fight it with supergreen drinks and lots of good sleep and pomegranates and no alcohol or junk food.

Gobble gobble - But Let's Be Pigs!!

Lesson learned this Thanksgiving? That to make homemade gravy from turkey drippings, let alone the rest of a really excellent feast, it takes a village. Or in this case, two sisters and one Las Vegas chick. Here's how it breaks down.

You need:
#1 to hold the roasting pan and ferociously whisk the roux into the drippings until it is at the desired thickness/amount and then pour as
#2 holds the gravy boat and strainer as
#3 puts her arms around and in between both 1 and 2 to help spoon it all out and into gravy boat so that none spills.

Keep in mind, all three persons are on their second glass of wine as well.

Result? Yummy Gravy!

But it was fun, lots of giggling and watching (and drooling) over Steve and Grant on the Ghost Hunters marathon (I like Grant, Elba likes Steve), and of course the Eating of the Food. The food was awesome - Ms. Jany is an wonderful hostess and I have to say, her turkey was one of the best I think I've ever had. I baked two pies, an apple and a pumpkin, met Elba on the G ("lady with the pies!"..."where is the rest of the train?") at my train station and then we were off to Forest Hills - she made this sweet potato dish that was yummy - the smell alone needs to be marketed. Perhaps a Pier One Reed and Oil Set in "Essence of Floating Head" in the future? So all of this, plus corn, plus green beans, plus stuffing, plus mashed potatoes with goat cheese, plus plus plus..oooh plus WINE (can't forget that) and even more silliness and giggling. Really, a wonderful day - so thanks to the Lozano-Crespos for including me in their family celebrations - truly one of the best Turkey Days I've had in a long time!

And so, because it takes a village, remember to be thankful for your village...and I am...this has been an utterly CRAPFILLED week and I was not really in the holiday mood but my little village seems to pull through for me when it counts and so thank you thank you thank you - I am blessed with good friends and family, indeed.

Now it's onto removing the crap and moving on and not letting anything or anyone ruin my favorite time o' the year...Christmas is officially ON! And as the saying goes, fake it until you make it and so I'm going to fake my way into the good mood I was in just one week ago and just watch it come back to me.

Oh it's rainy and its cold and I have a sinus headache and I feel slightly hungover...I really can't drink much anymore, can I? I just feel so icky the next day...last night it was just two little beers...ahh but two really tasty beers, I'm here to share with you that this Dogfish craft beer from Delaware - http://www.dogfish.com/ - is just about the best beer I've ever had...Daddy, I'm not sure if you can get this in Las Vegas, but if my supermarket keeps carrying it, I'll bring you a bottle home at Xmas to try... I have the 60 Minute India Pale Ale...Cousin Megan, this should be a Gold Star Winner for Beer Club!

So I had two of these last night while watching the season finale of Ghost Hunters - and they are strong, being craft beers - and woke up this morning feeling tummy troubled and headachy and a bit cracked ...

"There is a crack, a crack in everything...that's how the light gets in"
- Leonard Cohen

I feel smiley though for reasons known and unknown ... I just feel expectant like something good is about to happen but I don't know what it is, it's just around the corner and it keeps peeking over in my direction, sticking its tongue out at me, na na na boo boo, but then it turns and runs the other way whenever I look closely to see what it actually is...I hope I'm right ... at the very least I've got two giant pomegranates on my desk right now that are full of little red juicy seeds of something good...Snow, don't pomegranates make you think of Grandma and Mom making jelly in our kitchen? They did grape too - funny, I don't remember them boiling the grapes down, so I'm assuming they just bought juice - isn't that cheating? - but I loved the pomegranate best of all and it was this big production and assembly line complete with wax seals on the jars and it only happened once a year sort of like the sugar snow in Little House in the Big Woods ... Maple candy! Or pig slaughtering time and Mary and Laura made a balloon with the pig bladder and played with that...do Allie and Jake do that ever? Hee hee hee...

My Daily Good Morning from Daddy and Jakie

I just wanted to share with you the picture that I have as my desktop background at work - so when I login each morning, these goofballs are sticking their tongues out at me in my general direction! I think Snow White should take a picture of both Allie and Jacob making funny faces and then email it to me so I can giggle all day ... or maybe both of them doing Mini-Man!

Not too much going on here that's of much interest to you people out there...I've been busy with work stuff I guess this week and everything has been GO GO GO ... I'm ready for Xmas by the way, usually I'm upset to see Xmas decorations and commercials RIGHT after Halloween but this year they are just making me feel happy that my favorite time of the year is upon us...yes, its almost time to be cutely bundled and sipping hot drinks and laughing merrily as we skip down the street..ok, everything except that last part, I DO NOT skip. But I do enjoy being cutely bundled and my parents seem to like that phrase that I've coined so I'm going to use it nonstop just to bring a chuckle to Chuckie. I bought a SMOKING hot black leather jacket this weekend in a SMALL mind you - so it's tight but I think it looks nice on me - its very fitted. And if I just lose a little more weight it will be really perfection. This week it got colder so it was time to bring out the wool coats as well and I realized how dumpy I felt in my black coat of 5 years. Yes, after five years I think its time to bid you farewell...you never did fit me right, but my cheap (ahem, THRIFTY) soul would not part with you until I could wear you no longer. And so that time has come...a nice new grey double-breasted coat that is so much warmer and looks much nicer on me.

It will in the 40's this weekend, so I'll have lots of chances to wear it - Saturday is yoga, followed by Healthy Lunch (maybe Floating Head?), followed by more shopping to Rid Self of Dumpiness, then out to Forest Hills for Girls Movie Night where we shall watch Spaceballs with lots of silliness and some liquor. Sunday I hope to go to yoga again, then - and I'm super excited about this - I'm taking a Sacred Jewelry class at the Rubin- Himalayan art - museum. Here's the description of the class:

"Go from concept to finished piece. Class begins with a gallery tour to explore the traditional colors, designs and sacred meanings of Himalayan jewelry. Working with beads and stones from the region, bring to life your own sacred jewelry, and leave wearing a beautiful piece."

Cool, yes? I KNOW! I'll take a photo of my finished piece and let you all know how it turned out!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! MWWAHHHHHHAHAHAHA!!

That's my evil laugh by the way... in case you couldn't tell... may you all make it safely across the covered bridge tonight, away from the Headless Horseman and Brom Bones ...





And Snow White! Do you remember this record that we had when we were little? I saw this on someone else's blog and he was writing about how this was so scary to listen to and how it started him loving Edgar Allen Poe stories - remember they had the wind howling and whistling in between stories? I remember turning off all the lights and listening to this with you...the Headless Horseman was scary fun and so was the Tell-Tale Heart....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

"A terrorist is the product of our education that says that fantasy is not real, that says aesthetics is just for artists, that says soul is only for priests, imagination is trivial or dangerous and for crazies, and that reality, what we must adapt to, is the external world, a world that is dead. A terrorist is a result of this whole long process of wiping out the psyche."
~ James Hillman

And along those lines, please check out the Museum of Make-Believe http://www.ruinedeye.com/MOMB/MAKEB.htm

Vron, if you go to the second floor, you can check out Baba Yaga's comb! And Mom, also on the second floor, you can see the Little Match Girl's apron...the saddest fairy tale of them all...

I'm having a good day by the way ... can't say exactly why - shhhh its a secret - but I am and I hope the good vibes in the air are flowing out to all of you reading this now ... its rainy and cloudy and chilly this morning, as it should be, finally, at last, the fall weather seems to be here to stay and that means that winter isn't far off and we all know I'm happiest when its cold outside and the snow is falling and Christmas is upon us and I can bundle up and drink hot cocoa with visions of sugarplums dancing in my head ... and here's a recipe for sugarplums wouldn't you know it ... http://www.godecookery.com/friends/frec74.htm

Well my second favorite team is now in the World Series! Aren't I lucky, I can still enjoy baseball even if the Mets don't make it into the playoffs...I love the Red Sox too so I watched the past couple of games happily - favorite players? Jonathan Papelbon and Mike Lowell...I just like their whole vibe - even Manny Ramirez doesn't bother me...so as much as I like the Rockies - I always have to cheer for the underdog, you know - my heart is for Boston and so it goes...

So, you know, this weekend was quite busy apart from BaseballGameWatching ... Saturday I saw Elizabeth the Golden Age and had a funky dinner in Astoria - Turkish/Argentinian - how's that for a mix? They had this delicious dish called Red Sonja, made out of red lentils that you scooped up with lettuce and this yummy as hell dessert - semolina and honey with some vanilla ice cream and pistachios and walnuts and almonds. Yum indeed. Sunday, I was proud of myself. Yoga has returned to the schedule and we almost had a private class, just me and Floating Head - finally two other people showed up and I felt very stiff and creaky and today I'm a touch sore since its been so long but I made it back and lets make a promise that its back for good. Then it was brunch time with Jany at East of Eighth and some shopping and walking around and all in all - a good weekend.

ALSO. I must mention - although I plan to send an actual thank you of some sort - I have to do a blog shout out to Vron and Larisa. I LOVED LOVED LOVED your gifts - and your "gifts" a.k.a. TALENTS. The paintings were so wonderful, seriously, I was really touched that you took the time to make me something so beautiful and I'm framing them and putting them on the wall effective immediately. Also a bit inspiring too, because I've been wanting to try painting and sketching - so maybe I'll send you some NicoleArt someday - but most likely it will look like this:

See, that's me and Veronica flying a kite last October when she was visiting. And the sun is shining. Just know that. Larisa, should I add action sparks?

BOO! All are welcome to the Scary Spirit of Halloween!

I’m so in it…I decorated my apartment, I bought pumpkins for carving, I put up cobwebs, orange lights, bats, black candles - Snow, I hung the glow in the dark Mr. Bones you sent me!!! It’s in my hallway and if you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, its right across from the toilet to scare you! But most importantly, I’ve decorated my office … this is all to bring back the Spooky but Fun Spirit of Halloween back into my life. Not that it was ever really missing but I kind of felt like well, I don’t have kids so why am I decorating or baking or making a jack o’lantern, etc, but one of the gifts that was given to me by my parents was a very magical childhood that went hand in hand with a love of celebrating holidays and that you are never too old to enjoy them and somehow I’ve missed that gift of mine the past couple of years. For example, my mom was one of those people who dyed everything green on St Patrick’s Day – we’d wake up to green oatmeal, green OJ, and some holiday appropriate treat to bring to eat at school, like cupcakes, and she’d get out our shamrock pin so we wouldn’t get pinched (or Snow, do you remember those pins we had that would swivel open and there was solid perfume underneath?) and we ALWAYS ate corned beef and hash and potatoes for dinner that night.

So to honor the Spirit of the Parents Who Are Still Young At Heart, I brought in a fun candy bowl with a hand that grabs you and says spookily “want some candy?” and some other decorations and last night I made mini cupcakes and decorated them in Halloween colors and guess what? Everyone here is laughing a LOT, smiling a LOT, and is in a good mood … and do you know is having the most fun? ME. That’s the secret I think that my parents knew all these years – its fun to watch other people get a kick out of the little things you do, its fun to watch other people laugh and scream at a silly spooky bowl, and if a tiny cupcake can make someone more friendly or have a better day, then why wouldn’t I feel good too?

So there you go, lesson for the day from Joyce and Charlie - if you make someone feel good, you’ll end up feeling good as well. They would also like you to know that they will be celebrating Oktoberfest next week, so drop on by if you are in the neighborhood, but don’t you DARE bring any guacamole – it’s not German!! Wear your lederhosen should you be so inclined and to really get a laugh out of them, knock on their door and announce in your best Clark Griswold voice, "My family and I are looking for sex"!

"This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body."

--Walt Whitman

Na und?

A bit groggy this morning...I had a yummy belated birthday dinner last night with some friends at El Quixote - a broiled 1.5 lb. lobster and a pitcher of sangria, who could ask for more? Followed up with a glass of celebratory champagne and - well now you know why I'm a tad bit groggy!

Saturday I met Floating Head for Culturefest in Battery Park which was only kinda interesting ... mostly just museums and cultural institutions giving away programs about what they are offering in 2007-2008, some performances - musical and dance - but not a whole lot of anything else so we were a little disappointed, although I did learn how to have an snotty attitude in German. "Na und?" means "Yeah - AND?" Come on, say it with me...and then roll your eyes exasperatedly and turn away sharply as if you can't be bothered.

So for kicks we crashed Jany's apartment in Forest Hills for some baked ziti and beer and had a good time mocking Keira Knightly's duck face and her "I'm so witty - DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!" Britishisms.

So that was my weekend! Hope yours was fun too! Don't forget to try and use "na und?" in conversation this week...because German bad attitude is fun!

Happy Friday Y'all - Ding Dang!

For all of you TMZ.COM readers out there, you'll recognize the Britney-speak...anyway, I'm just sitting here finishing up my workweek, eating some Peanut Chews with my afternoon coffee and feeling very glad for Mr. Gore for winning the Nobel Peace Prize...how cool is that man? I urge you all - should you be so inclined as I was - to sign the petition at http://www.draftgore.com/ - I don't think he'll run for President, but it's something hopeful...and after all, he really won in 2000 so its just sort of reclaiming what was rightfully his from Sauron Cheney and Sauramon Bush...save the Shire indeed!

So this weekend? Yoga hopefully, both days, maybe some time at Culturefest 2007 in Battery Park, finished up on Sunday evening with my Lobster Dinner - lobster, at long last, my love..how you've been missed - with some friends. And that be that.

Some Birthday Pics

"Feliz Cumpleanos a ti
Feliz Cumpleanos a ti
Feliz Cumpleanos a Nikki
Feliz Cumpleanos a ti!!"

We got toys in our margaritas - my toy was a set of fake icky teeth, perfect to use at the dentist next week...

Floating Head was too tipsy (and too giggly) to climb up the ladder

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!

As sung to me by cool 80's band Altered Images:

Happy birthday, happy birthday
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Happy birthday, happy birthday











Happy, happy birthday in a hot bath
To those nice nice nights
I remember always, always
I got such a fright
Seeing them in my dark cupboard
With my great big cake
If they were me
If they were me
And I was you
And I was you
If they were me
If they were me
And I was you
And I was you
If they were me and I was you
Would you have liked a present too?

Happy birthday, happy birthday.......

Yes today, I am 29...again...so far this day has been just OK - I'm trying hard to keep the birthday shield up, but I came into a mess at work this morning am now in the middle of trying to fix the mystery mess so its been stressful so far. And I got my presents on Saturday, but was out getting blonde, so I got up early today to to stop at the post office to claim them when lo and behold, someone forgot it was Columbus Day and therefore - POST OFFICE IS CLOSED!!! Presents for me have to wait? Man...oh well...

Birthday Shield = ACTIVATED.

Pomegranates and Pumpkins

So the wheel has turned 'round again and it's officially fall and that means its the time of year for my favorite fruit to start appearing in the markets ... they are small right now and not at full flavor but yummmmm... I picked one up for a dollar last night along with a pumpkin that I will carve and roast seeds once it gets closer to Halloween...I remembered that last year I had forgotten to get one and then all of a sudden it was Halloween and no Jack O'Lantern to set the scary mood...this time, I'm prepared...

Nothing else of real interest going on here...as you know, Monday is the Birth Day and for some reason this year, I'm not really into it...its another year older dammit and more gray hair to cover (which I'm having done tomorrow) and more creaky bones to stretch out at yoga (which I'm doing on Sunday) so I'm just keeping it mellow this year, some dinner with friends kind of thing and then let's move on. Basta!

In the meantime, check out http://menwholooklikeoldlesbians.blogspot.com/index.html . I hope this guy keeps the site going, there are a TON of men out there getting way too much plastic surgery and end up looking like women - he takes suggestions, so if you have any to add to his list, go on and contribute!

Exciting!!! I got my first birthday present in the mail this morning...from my lovely SS Aunt Judy!!! Mom, you'll be proud to know that I did NOT open it yet...I'm trying really hard to wait until the actual moment of birth, 7:56 am next Monday...can I do it? We shall see...I'm not exactly known for my self-control...

The Mets 2007 Season R.I.P.

And that’s all I’m going to say about this weekend…my bottom lip is going to be perpetually stuck out in pouting mode until baseball season swings around again in April… boo hoo!!!

Despite the overwhelming sadness, I had a really fun weekend...on Saturday I met The Two Cousins on St. Marks and we were off to the Sunburnt Cow for lots of mimosas and laughing over silly family stories…they had never heard the Tale of Grandma, Dan, and The Enema…but we all agreed, that’s how we knew Dan was a keeper and with that, the standard has been set – no man shall enter into the family without passing The Daniel Test…a bit tipsy and still giggly, we walked around a bit, went to a street fair, got some vanilla lattes and sat outside in the luverly fall weather and then saw Eastern Promises with fellow Met Mourner, Viggo Mortensen…awesome movie, a little brutal – a word to the wise, beware of Russian men with stars tattooed on their knees…then to a bar for a two for one special while we waited with Kara until it was time for her to meet her other friends and abandon us … I had a lot of fun with the Two Cousins and hope hope hope that both Kara and Adam find their way here to live eventually – come on, think of the fun you’ll have!!

Sunday we went to the Medieval Festival at the Cloisters – you know, last year they kindly held this on my birthday in honor of me, but this year, it was moved to grandly open my Birth Month instead – let the celebrations begin, let the libations to me be poured! I'M GETTING OLD!!! WOO HOO!!!! Then we headed down to the same place I ate dinner last year with Vron and Larissa – remember the good margaritas guys? And remember we saw Prince Vocabulary from the Massive Attack concert walk by and we decided that was an omen to buy a lottery ticket? HA! I realized the secret to me and margaritas and feeling “good” is: real juice, not mix, and good tequila. It’s the cheap stuff that gets you ill…after 3 hours of A LOT of laughing and commenting about things and people we hate and trying to figure out Dumb Boys, it was home to watch my newest reality TV must see - Kimora, Life in the Fab Lane...so all in all, a nice weekend capped off the right way and the fun I had took the sting off of the Mets game – I’m glad I wasn’t home to watch it, it would have been hard to take…OUCH indeed. Until next year, boys…

G'day Milady!

It was a very very g'day...at the Renaissance Faire yesterday...but today I'm at work, sadly. Yes, I know, you all mourn for me but really, it's not so bad...except I'm coming down with something - a cold or some such nonsense - so I'd rather be lying on a couch doing nothing but dozing and wanting my mommy to come and nurse me back to health with hot cocoa and grilled cheese sandwiches, but unfortunately, its just me, a granola bar and a cup of coffee to go to be swilled on the E train as I am forced to go to work... ah well, such is life... yesterday was lovely and so that's good enough to make it a swell weekend. We took the bus at 10am and by 11 we were transported back to the 17th century where we were quick to fall in love with the very handsome and burly Renaissance Dudes all over the place...

So the formula to get us all giggly and flirty is:
the leather arm guards + a kilt + big black boots with a dagger or sword = SWOON-WORTHY!

Floating Head fell in love with the Watering Hole Man, who used the above formula plus served us beer and mead to cast his spell upon her... we bought some pretty jewels - of course - listened to some madrigals, tried on corsets but decided that the "ladies" were popping out WAY too much, had our fortunes told and we were given juju and got rid of our "bad" juju, strolled the grounds some more and then back on the bus for the city, where we had burritos and margaritas at - yes, Vox - Blockheads - and discussed the possible formation of the NYC extension of TAPS and then home sweet home...

So now I'm done at work, I hope the Mets are winning - I see our prayers have been working because they are still in first place...only one more week of baseball!! I'm heading home to drink tea with honey and hope I don't get full blown sick...may the rest of your weekend be filled with good juju!!

Oy Vey!!

What a day... I felt like I was going to pass out earlier, my adrenaline was PUMPING. I had so much going on and quick quick quick, fix this, check the configuration on this, get IT to come down. So, yeah, OY. VEY. I'm rattled. Today was the culmination of a month's plus worth of work, testing, fixing errors, etc and so now all I have to do is come in on Sunday for awhile, do some more testing and then - hopefully - the most stressful part of my year is done for a few weeks...then in November it gets tricky again... but! Renaissance Faire tickets have been purchased (though not a mug...yet....ha ha to Floating Head) so tomorrow morning, I shall have my fairy princess wings applied and will be flitting off to the enchanted woods of upstate New York, where I shall see many tall, strong boys with ponytails and beards dressed like medieval warriors and knights...swoon!

And that's all she (she being me) wrote! I'm going home to have a glass or two of wine and then hopefully to sleep after jumping for joy over a METS VICTORY. You people aren't praying hard enough out there for me and my Mets...last night's loss (i.e. CRUSHING MELTDOWN) made me very sad and a sad ole me is hard to deal with...

Just a short post to say: I'm TIRED. The month of September has - so far - been HARD. Tiring. Workwise anyway - I was here until close to 9 last night, got home just in time to see the Mets FINALLY win after a 5 game skid - they have to win and go to the World Series, because my dad said if they go to the World Series, he's on a plane if I can get tickets...how fun would that be? So, the Magic Number is now 10 and I'll say my prayers and cross my fingers and not hate on the Yankees, because this guy at work believes that negativity only makes bad karma for the Mets...so I won't think about them, just my Guys...

I have to work on Sunday but on Saturday, I'm hopeful about maybe going to the Renaissance Faire... que sera sera, whatever will be, will be...the future's not ours to see...que sera, sera....

One more reason to love Viggo Mortensen..

As if you need any more reasons, but this one is the bestest so far... so I'm watching him on David Letterman last night and I find out.. Aragorn is HUGE Mets fan!!! He tried to get Dave to go the game at Shea with him after the taping of the show and he teased Dave about being a Yankee fan and gave him a gold Mets pin ... aw, total SWOON...

From a S.I. interview in 2004:

You, Michael Vartan and Jerry Seinfeld have publicly proclaimed your love for the Mets. Explain how you got started.

Mortensen: I was about 11 when I came to the U.S. in '69. I got a crash course in baseball that October when the Mets won the World Series. Even though we moved to northern New York -- it was a Yankees town if anything -- the Mets were my team from then on. I've stuck with them through thick and thin. If I'm in town when they come to L.A., I'll see them play. It's not any easier being a Mets fan than it is being a fan of San Lorenzo. You have to have a lot of perseverance -- that's what being a fan is about. You can't be a bandwagon guy. When we began shooting Lord of the Rings in New Zealand in '00 there was a guy who taped the Subway Series games when we were working, and I would watch them late at night. God, that was hard to watch. It was crushing. Horrible. It made me want to kill some more in the next scene. Or at least kill a certain pitcher.

Sporty Spice's Weekend of Fun

Yep, that's me, Sporty Spice - appearing for one weekend only, mind you. Friday actually wasn't so sporty, unless you consider eating 2 pounds of mussels a sport...I consider it YUMMY. But Saturday Floating Head called me at 10:30 to inform me that she scored free Mets vs. Astros tickets so woo hoo, I was off to an afternoon of hot dogs, beer, and the sweet smell of victory as Tom Glavine won #303. The next event entailed a walking tour of Historical Woodside, Queens - the childhood home of Floating Head and Jany - where nails were manicured to perfection, dim sum and durian* and smoothie fruits were purchased at the Asian Market, and then to Floating Head's pad where we watched yet another America's Next Top Model Marathon, making fun of the girls just like my mom and Miss Dassel used to do each year during the Miss America pageant. Oh, I know it's catty but it's just so much FUN. Sunday was the US Open Men's final - Roger Federer - of course - vs. Novak Djokovic. I wanted the Serbian to win - Roger wins everything and I always root for the underdog, so my cheering was loudest for The Big Serb. Plus, the Serbian fans are fun when they get loud and rowdy and excited, so I thought that would be fun to be in the crowd for. Roger won in straight sets, but it was actually a really tense, close, exciting match - a few points here or there, and The Big Serb would have won it and he seems to be the only player I've seen in a long time who even comes close to competing with Federer. And with a raise of the trophy, my Sporting Weekend came to a weary, yet well-spent, close.

* A note regarding the durian...do you know about this super smelly, mysterious fruit? It smells slightly rotten, tastes slightly oniony AND slightly vanilla custardy and I've been dying to try it since watching Anthony Bourdain eat it on No Reservations - he spoke about it like it was the most heavenly thing a person could eat. What made me more curious was the guy from Bizarre Foods. Now, I've watched that guy eat: a still beating frog's heart, guinea pig, ants, bugs of all kinds, brains, spiders, grubs, testicles from all sorts of animals and he SPIT THE DURIAN OUT and proclaimed it inedible!!! A STILL BEATING HEART he can eat...but not this fruit. Well now I've tried it and I can't say I love it (and I'm willing to eat a little more of it before I make up my mind completely, although it does smell godawful) it MUST beat out eating bugs. Snow White ate a spider when she was little so she must know for sure...I'll have to check with her on that!

This is why I despise and DO NOT respect either of the Williams Sisters...

Because of constant comments like these:

“She made a lot of lucky shots,” Williams said a moment later, a white baseball cap pulled low over her eyes, “and I made a lot of errors.” (MSNBC.COM)

So says Serena, after losing her match at the US Open earlier... neither one of them was taught any grace whatsoever - you never ever hear out of their mouths, "my opponent was the better player today". It's all about never giving anyone else credit - if they lose, its not because their opponent was superior on that day, it was due to lucky shots, bad umpires, and because they "chose" not to win. Its embarassing for them and I wish they'd both just retire so I don't have to see or hear their loud and tacky mouths anymore.

By the way, I'm going to the Men's Final on Sunday, so woo hoo for me ... most likely it will whoever vs. Roger Federer...now he's someone Venus and Serena could learn from. Pure class. Plus, look at what good hair he has...

Ah well ... let me stop reading irritating news on the internet and get back to work ... you shouldn't be reading this either if you are at work! Off the internet, you!!!

P.S. I just saw this on MSNBC.COM - seems I'm not the only one who thinks Serena is a bad loser... http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20609303/

OH

MY

GOD!!

BEFORE

I

FORGET...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SNOW WHITE, THE BEST SISTER I'VE EVER HAD!!! I LOVE YOU!!

This was supposed to be a difficult weekend. I was having “issues” which I don’t want to name here for fear that I will jinx myself because now things are more peaceful and I'm superstitious so I’m just keeping my fingers crossed and saying a prayer that all is well. Normally, when I have “issues”, work is a welcome respite – I can focus on little tasks and not think too much about my real life. But this was a long weekend, with a short day on Friday so I knew I had better keep myself busy or else I would fall into my tendency to sulk and stew and reinforce any and all negative behavior and feelings with a three-day long hermit-like Pity Party in Jackson Heights. So, as a result of All the Nice People in My World, I was kept busy, I was kept distracted, I was kept smiling and feeling good in the head and the weekend passed with little drama. Saturday in Astoria was a ton of fun at Cousin Megan’s House – we drank lots of beer, played Wii for about 4 hours, giggled a lot, ate some Movie Nachos at Superbad (which was Superfunny – but totally a “guy” flick in a lot of ways but really sweet at the same time) and woke up supersore from the Wii playing and isn't that sad? Sunday, I met Jany and Floating Head and we shopped and walked and went to the MOMA – which is just not my favorite museum, since I really despise most modern art – lets face it, most of it is pretentious crap, the three of us were in agreement on that – we are just the ones being honest enough to look at the square canvas painted all black and admit it, instead of the Wannabees who try to come up with interesting drivel to say about it. Then Jany invited us back to Forest Hills where she cooked us a lovely dinner in her lovely apartment. Yesterday, I met Floating Head – again! Isn't she sick of me yet? – for some spicy coconut salmon noodle soup at Republic and then we went to the sand mandala destruction ceremony at the Rubin Museum of Himalayan Art. FANTASTIC. When she and I visited here a week ago, the artist had just started and was working on the very center of the mandala and there was no one watching him really but now the room was packed and the actual destruction of it was beautiful. There were 10 traditional Tibetan dancers – men and women – who came and played instruments and sang and danced and stomped all over the mandala until it was smeared and dust was everywhere and no images remained. It was very powerful to experience, especially since I had such a negative week, it felt good to watch this. Let them stomp on all the things I’d like to get rid of as well! Bad vibes, begone! And so it is!

The State of Blahness

Not much to report on this end of the world...tonight, I'll be having some Japanese food and then free happy hour at the Museum of Design but I have absolutely no major plans this weekend, other than to go to yoga, go to Astoria to visit the abode of Cousin Megan (and maybe play some Wii) and then see Superbad - all of which should put me in a better mood. This has been a bad, bad, mad week. I'm praying for a beautiful, peaceful weekend that will make me feel less like wearing my UGH boots all the time and ready to kick ass at random, or wanting to push old ladies onto train tracks and wishing certain people would wipe their happy smiles off of their stupid happy faces ... sigh ... I know, I sound a bit bitter, well I've had a terrible week ... with one small exception that I hope, I hope, I hope...oh nevermind...the least said, the better....

"A religious person is one who contributes to the world some beauty, some joy, some happiness, some celebration that was not there before."
- Osho

May you all be religious at some point this long weekend - I know I'm hoping to be.

And P.S. to My Retired Persons: if you had been home this weekend, instead of on a three-week idyll in OveroyeLand, I totally would have hopped on a plane to see you..that's how EXASPERATED I am ... maybe some other weekend ...!!

A Good Saturday

After yoga, Floating Head and I had brunch at Maracas, where we did the anti-yoga thing (again!) of getting hungover by 3pm. Damn you Mexican all you can drink brunch!! It isn’t so much we drank a lot, we have both noticed that we can’t drink anymore – after 1 glass of something, it becomes like poison – we both get weary, headachy, tummy all upset. And therefore, drinking becomes less fun because what’s the point if you don’t feel good? Either way, we giggled a lot and then headed up to the Rubin Museum of Himalayan Art ( http://www.rmanyc.org/home.cfm ) which is SUPER COOL. I ‘ll bet you’ve walked past it before, not knowing what lies beyond those glass doors. This is such a beautiful, peaceful space, I’d pay the 10$ admission fee to just hang out there for the day and chill before all the (mostly) Buddhist art. There was a guy playing beautiful Indian sitar music, there was an artist making a sand mandala and we sat and watched him patiently lay out the inner circle of blue and black sand – it will take 9 days for him to finish the whole thing. When he is finished, there is typically a destruction ceremony and so the beauty of the artwork is only temporary and like most things, fleeting. So check it out while you can - I suppose that’s the lesson :-)We could have watched him for hours – it was very calming – and usually this is done by Buddhist monks as a meditative thing and its easy to see why. But 6 floors of beautiful images, statues, objects – so I highly recommend coming here when you need to feel better or just to find some peace of mind.
Since the Good Saturday, the rest of this week has been crappy. I’m feeling down, tired, overwhelmed, etc. The Boss is out all week and there is so much going on at work that I’m trying to handle on my own without getting stressed out and yet, I seem to find myself running ragged. I keep trying to fight it out and hopefully, I’ll go to sleep and wake up to a better mood tomorrow. I think I just have that let-down feeling – I used to get it at the end of summer vacation, coming back from a trip, or that Sunday night feeling when you know you have to go to school tomorrow and you feel just a little bit blue.

Oh well to you Ms.BadMoodThat'sAllInMyHead. I say to you, with my fist raised: Om Shanti, BITCH. (ha ha..that's jsut for Floating Head to giggle over).

Where oh where has the summer gone? To bed, I hope, to have sweet dreams in hibernation until next June…the past few days have been November chilly, cloudy and rainy..the kind of days where you want to drink hot ginger lemon honey tea and sprawl out on the couch or bed and finishing reading that really good book you started in Arizona and can’t seem to put down because you NEED to know what happens next to Harriet and Hely (The Little Friend by Donna Tartt). But alas, you have to drag yourself into work where you really don’t feel like doing much more than staring out the window, watching the rain and the clouds and feeling pleased because its not hot out…but alas again, the forecast is for summer to come back this weekend, with temperatures back in the 90’s so you better enjoy this autumn preview while it lasts. And so I have. But at least August, crappy hot August is almost over, Labor Day is near, and that means summer is done for another year and I can get back to being cutely bundled in my fall and wintery gear.

I have to admit, I’m kind of tired and grumpy today. I slept horribly last night. I had a dream about my dog, Salty, the kind of dream where you feel like you are truly awake; she was laying on the bed and I could feel her snuggling up next to me and then I bolted straight up in bed and really woke up because that sensation startled me and I felt that pressure and warmth of her leave as if she jumped off the bed. Weird, right? It was oddly comforting too though because her presence seemed very real but then I felt sad about it when I woke up this morning because it made me think of her right before she died and then my cat Bianca too, how she was right before we had to put her to sleep. I could tell something was wrong with her because she looked sad and tired and didn’t move much and seemed to crave being outside all the time so she could lay in the sun. I always thought she knew she was sick and was probably cold and the Nevada summer sun was the only warmth she could get. Right before my parents took her to the vet, I found her sitting quietly by the shed in the backyard in a good sunny spot and I sat on the ground next to her and petted her for a long time and she just laid there, calmly and still, moving only to press her head against my palm and look up at me. And that was our little goodbye to each other.

Now its noon and to be honest, I’ve done very little with the day so far. Oh well. I’m going on little sleep, so I’m setting the bar low today – if I can just make it through on caffeine and a prayer until 6pm, and then I get to hop on the 7 to head off to the Mets/Padres game tonight…yippee!!! Screaming my head off and singing Sweet Caroline and a beer or two (perhaps a hot dog?) should make it all better…

Jake! Auntie Nikki says: HIT 'EM HIGH, HIT 'EM LOW, HIT 'EM WHERE GRANDPA”S PEANUTS GROW!!!!

A Blog Shout Out to the State of Idaho!

Since the vast majority of my readership is in Idaho this week, I thought I'd do a shout out a la Cash Cab - but using my blog, not the mobile kind - and say HELLO FAMILY!!! Mom and Dad are lucky ducks, they are getting all the kiddie fun and hugs and cuddles and playtime and getting trampled and licked by the doggies right now and I wish I was there with you!!!

LOTS OF LOVE to the Overoye Family and the Two Retired Persons!!! Have fun without ME!

More Arizona Pics, Courtesy of Floating Head

Beautiful Southwestern Sunset - this is one thing I miss about living in Nevada - the sunsets are just like the opal rings Floating Head and I bought...


SOOO windy at the Canyon...is Jany's wig going to fall off?


Taking the golf cart to Rawhide - WOOO!! The driver was speeding!!!


I'm a gunslinger!


Jany and I at the Grand Canyon


Floating Head and I being all Relaxi Taxi in the pool


Jany and I showing off our beautiful rings that we purchased

Adobe! The little car that's made out of clay!

"German engineering fused with Mexican know-how"...


SO I am back from Arizona where we repeated this jingle from a SNL commericial over and over and over and still cannot get it out of my head ... I have a lot to report - basically, I had a blast, not a single bad moment, just lots of sun, giggles, and rest, Native American-style but for now, here are some pics - we ended up doing a day trip to the Grand Canyon so I have a million awesome photos to choose from but these are my favorite shots:


Floating Head's big pink balloon cowboy hat from Rawhide!


Not a super flattering photo of me, but its a cute shot so I cringe and include it...


A desert sunset from our balcony





Saloon girls... we had one of those old-fashioned photos done - the flash in the picture is not a light emanating out of Floating Head, that's my flash as I take a picture of the real photo!


Cowgirls!


Me on my horse, Luna - pretty ain't she?


Jany the Cowgirl is looking back at me as I try to control Luna and take a picture!


View of the pool from our balcony - we spent most of our time in the water!


Bell Rock, outside of Sedona, one of the major "vortexes" in the area




The Grand Canyon




Me on the Death Cliff, as Floating Head called it - basically, a few steps to the back of me and its bye bye bye... I'm going to guarantee my mother likes this shot of me because I'm wearing a hat and she likes me in hats ... I like it because I look really happy, which I was

Floating Head, having a quiet moment alone with the Canyon





Jany!

How can a rainstorm bring NYC to its knees?

You can read this article in Newsweek to find out how - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20182206/site/newsweek/ - unbelievable, yes, the rains were heavy, but this is ridiculous. The whole city should not stop running just because it's WET. When people make the argument that this city is becoming a third-world country, it's hard to argue with them on days like this...

I decided to wait it out and not even leave my apartment until the morning rush had ended and I still didn't get to work until close to noon. And it was disgustingly hot and humid. UGH. But tomorrow is my last day until Arizona and so let's focus on that, shall we?

Crumbling infrastructure...the question is, what will fall apart next? I'm scared to find out.

Rattled, Sweaty, and Tired

So my weekend was not calm, cool, and collected. I initially had no plans and yet that boring schedule turned into:

Seeing The Bourne Ultimatum - highly recommended, very action-packed and fun - walking to Chinatown (where I "Crossed Delancey" but did not meet a Pickle Man - Mom!) for noodle soup and red bean buns, then browsing in stores in Soho, then getting up early on Sunday - despite being really tired - and trying to fit in one chapter of Harry Potter and cup of coffee before rush rushing to yoga at 9 am, and having train delays and run running, only to get there at 10 am on the dot and seeing Floating Head waving to me. We had both forgotten that they are closed on Sundays for the month of August. DRAT! So...we decided to go to the Buddhist temple in Chinatown for our spiritual dose for the day since we couldn't go to yoga.

After receiving our good fortunes (probability of success: excellent!), we headed up to Chelsea for brunch and then up to 72nd and Columbus for a street fair where goodies for our upcoming adventure to Arizona were purchased - a sun hat, a cute top, a cute skirt, etc... one fruit smoothie later, we head downtown to yet another street fair in the 50's and then we passed out and sang "east side, west side, all around the town...". Well okay, thats not true, but we were weary and so headed back to my neighborhood for Indian food at the Jackson Diner. Then it was home - thank god! - to take a 30 minute power nap and to gear up for finishing Harry Potter and watching Tom Glavine win his 300 game - he's a good guy (unlike some OTHER noteworthy baseball players who had a big weekend - ahem, A-Scrod (thanks to Vox for that nickname) and Barry Roid King Bonds -EW - and it was fun to watch him reach that amazing milestone.

BUT, at the same time I was watching that, I was getting very emotional over Harry Potter. I won't go into details just in case anyone reading this hasn't read the book yet, except to say that I loved this book, I think she did a terrific job at completing the storyline - I felt heartbroken over "The Prince's Tale" chapter and I got quite teary-eyed over the "The Forest Again" and "King's Cross" - I didn't expect to, but I did. I wasn't really into these books at first, but by the Prisoner of Azkaban, I was hooked and now here I am, sad that they are finished. Oh well, two more movies to look forward to...

And that be the end of that...now its Monday and I'm just holding on until Thursday night when I am officially in vacation mode...