C-A-P-S-I-Z-E all the way home, I'm gonna tilt awhile

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

That's me screaming because I'm scared...because it's the day before Halloween ... because there are ghosts and vampires and various other creepy crawlies about ... because the Headless Horseman gallops down my street after midnight ... because because because...

I'M STRESSSSSSSSSSSSED OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I'm still reeling a bit from my Wednesday Pout-Fest - turns out, a good way to cure that was to go home with a bottle of Chianti (and some fava beans OF COURSE) and drink a glass while watching "What the BLEEP Do We Know!?" and decide to fake it until I make it. Meaning just act like all is well and eventually the rest will catch up with the act and all really will be well.

Because it will, I just need to let it out sometimes and let the world know of my trials and tribulations, no matter how small they may appear. It's just my way, I don't have any sort of poker face and when I'm blue or have the mean reds, I show it. Apparently, I look like crap enough that my boss is "forcing" me (his words) to take a few days off after this is all over next week. He's being kind, which I appreciate. But a day or two to regain my center would be nice so I'll take him up on it. Because then, I have about 2 weeks of relative ease before I step right back into THIS again and then before you know it, I'm going home for Christmas Week and only then will I know if I've survived.

Until then, I'm playing my favorite Beach Boys (not a huge Beach Boys fan, but this one...sigh...pure love) song over and over and over, because it's as soothing as a lullaby to me and the harmonies are so pretty, aren't they?:

"Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Everything will turn out alright
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby..."

My other theme song is courtesy of Veronica's birthday gift to me, the soundtrack to Where the Wild Things Are and "Capsize" - this about sums up my insides right now:

"C-A-P-S-I-Z-E all the way home, I'm gonna tilt awhile
M-I-S-S-M-E all you want, you're gonna wait awhile

We can settle by the sea
Troubles gonna bury me
Keep my sorrows in the sand
I see water, I see land!

C-A-P-S-I-Z-E all the way home, I'm gonna tilt awhile
M-I-S-S-M-E all you want, you're gonna wait awhile..."

That said, I'm going to do something restful and luverly for myself tomorrow - maybe go up to the Cloisters? Some place where I can see the leaves changing color, I seem to miss that brief window every year. I wake up one November day and the leaves are just dead or completely gone and I miss being stunned by the red and golden trees everywhere. So something outdoors. Something beautiful. And then back here on Sunday to work on another HUMONGOUS file. And then we wait and see...I'm just resigned to the fact that I'm gonna tilt awhile. So be it.